A wealth of affection

I fell asleep in my desk chair last night. Not sure why - it hadn't been a strenuous day. But I was awakened by the First Reader poking me and saying "go to bed." I demurred, and he said "no, you fell asleep sitting up. Bed." 

There are things to be said for having a life partner who will tell you when you can't tell yourself. I went to bed. This morning as I woke up bright and early, feeling... ok. I'm not feeling bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. But I do feel like I can survive my day, and I can do so without a fatigue fog following me. I was reflecting on the transference of care. 

It's not that I want him to parent me. I do not, and he would look at that concept with horror. We have children. Teenagers. Neither of us want me to act like them. However, there are levels of care, and as spousal affection goes, poking your beloved in the knee and prompting her to do the responsible thing her body is demanding is just common sense. I'd do the same for him. 

This is not the same thing as being ordered or cajoled into doing something that you do not want to do for good reasons. I've been there, done that. It's a sick feeling that eats away at the pit of your stomach but you push through it because the one you loved asked you to do something. It's not a good feeling, and it erodes the trust a couple needs to have in order to survive together. How do you know if you are asking too much? Communication is key here, and that is a two-way street. Being willing not only to listen, but to talk. And know that sometimes your feelings do not outweigh reality. Sometimes you do have to do things you don't like to do. That's life. 

It's complicated. But it's easier with someone who has your back and can give you some outside perspective. Someone you trust implicitly. Marriage based on love alone isn't enough. There has to be mutual understanding, communication, and that trust. It's work, to keep everything balanced. Work demands so much, and children, and just life in general. In a good place, your partner is your refuge, and you are theirs. Equally yoked means one of you isn't dragging the other, you are both leaning into the work together at the same time in the same paces. 

None of this is new, or profound. I haven't got the mental power for any flights of wit and words. I'm just happy this morning. I'm counting my blessings, and find that I am rich in all the important things in life.