Dressing my age

Following on from my fashion rant

I really hadn’t intended to go on again about fashion - really, I’m the last person to talk about this. I’ve always walked my own way when it comes to clothing, and although due to odd circumstances I did research and write about some fashion icons years ago, and yes, I’m an artist with training in shapes and colors? Oh, fine, but do understand I dress for comfort and color, these days.

The question asked was about dressing to befit my status as a lady of a certain age. There’s a phrase I picked up from reading Regency romance, which the commentor used, ‘mutton dressed as lamb.’ There has long been a tradition of fashion for the young, and fashion for the, shall we say, more mature. There are certainly fashion trends I wouldn’t wear (why is everything crop top these days?) but there are others I don’t mean to give up. Like bright colors. I refuse to die away quietly in beige and olive drab.

After a long spell of no time, some recent weight loss, and a minor closet purge, I’d succumbed to the StitchFix idea as a time saver. Given it’s spawned two shopping trips and two essays, I’d say that was a failure, although had I liked it… nope. Still too expensive for me. But buying cheap doesn’t mean you have to give up quality or your personal style, either.

Two shopping trips? Yes. You see, after the closet flinging sessions, I had a couple of bags of clothing which was still good, I just didn’t want it. Anything stained or in need of mending went into the trash. The rest went to the donation at the local thrift (I’m selective about where I donate, by the way. Goodwill is not a charity). While I was there… I went shopping with the intent of seeing what the equivalent to the StitchFix box would cost me, and how well I could do in a very short time (I had a half-hour).

Six tops, two pair of jeans, total of $39. The day I went they were having a flash sale and pants were buy one, get one free. I wasn’t able to try things on, so this was more of a gamble than my selections at Kohls, but I was fairly confident in my choices, plus wasn’t spending enough to worry should an item be unwearable* when I got it home.

I grabbed the jeans in a size smaller than I’d been wearing, and did a rough check of the length by holding them up to my natural waistline and looking to see where they fell. To my delight, they both fit really well. At this point I’ve got enough jeans and pants to go on with as my weight loss made my earlier closet baggy at best.

For the tops? I felt my way along the racks, skimming to something that looked appealing, and petting the shoulder or sleeve before I even pulled it out to look at more closely. I wanted natural fibers, and got cotton, wool, and even silk. Two of the tops still had their tags. I’ve layered and styled two of them here, the purple merino wool vest with the silk white top, showing how a belt can define my waist under the tunic length tops. I can wear this with jeans or leggings.

The black and purple sweaters are simple to style. The llama was just too cute and fun, and with jeans it’s an easy outfit that is playful but not so young as to look odd on a middle-aged woman. These altogether make a pretty sedate wardrobe. Which isn’t actually why I got them…

I don’t have a good way to show you what I’ve put together here, but you get an idea and Toast ears. I have quite a lot of the recycled sari skirts at this point - they are inexpensive from Amazon, light and breezy for Texas heat, and best of all they are swishy and fun. I am always a fan of swishy skirts. They don’t have pockets, but I wear a pair of bike shorts under them, and buy those with pockets, and I generally carry a purse if I’m out and about in them. The center outfit, which is much more sedate, does have nice big pockets! (I will iron it before I wear it this winter, I promise).

This should give you an idea of how I’ve been steering my wardrobe - fun colors, with more subdued options for days I am not feeling it. Beyond color? Talking to Jonna Hayden these last couple of years has given me a better idea for what cuts are going to flatter my (changed) shape. I know now that high-rise pants are best for me. Finding stuff that fits, rather than leaning towards the baggy, helps me look more put together (and may explain this burst of closet overhauling). I stay out of the ‘junior’ section, even when I’m in an awkward size, because the cuts are for women who aren’t shaped like me. Four babies, and these hips show it. That helps me not look like I’m trying to dress like a teen.

Really, though? It’s about the confidence in your self. If you are self-consciously trying to dress to look young, you are going to come across as the sheep attempting to squeeze back into it’s slimmer, more feckless self. In a culture that values youth above all else, it can be difficult to shop around the constant stream of adolescence. But it can be done. Go for classic cuts and colors, if you aren’t sure. Be comfortable. Don’t try to be something you aren’t. Try things on if you can, if you can’t, then play it safer with choices. Look in the mirror! Shop with a trusted friend if you can, and have them be honest (but not brutal).

The question was also raised about hair styles. That’s really a matter of personal preference. I have known regal gray-haired ladies who wore their hair in two long braids and looked impressive. I have known fluffy-white-haired grandmas who wore a soft band to keep it back and out of their eyes and looked adorable doing it. Personally, I wear mine up. Years of habit. I wear it loose once in a while, and every several years cut it short and have it styled, which never lasts long because time and also, it’s touching me! I generally twist mine up with a couple of hairsticks, or a comb into a chignon when it’s only medium length (once it is mid-back that is more bulk than easily confined that way). I also do a lot of scrunchie ponytails, buns held up with a pencil or chopstick, and once it’s much longer than my current style, a braid or French braid. For fun accessories I have a lot of barrettes and clips, these tend to be for ‘going out in public’ rather than my usual at-home.

cat tax

*Unwearable here means that it’s too small. Too big can generally be altered to better fit, if you can manage a bit of sewing. I check carefully for rips and stains before a thrift find comes home with me. And the too-small might not even be terrible if I continue shrinking.