Eat This While You Read That: Frank Hood

Fig & Olive Cracker Recipe

Many years ago, in the Before Times, I came up with a creative way to promote fellow authors. One of those authors (Stephen Simmons) dubbed the column “Eat This While You Read That” and although it’s long, it stuck. I often shorten it to ETWYRT, which acronym could be pronounced ‘eat write’ and that’s close enough to work… What I did back then, and I’m doing it again now that I’ve got the time to try and help others, is ask the author to give me the name of a dish, and the name of the book they want me to promote. I then develop a recipe for the dish, photograph it all pretty, and write these posts up.

I got to meet Frank Hood in person this spring at FenCon, and enjoyed having him in my Discord for some time now. I was amused at his ‘dish’ suggestion but really, it pairs beautifully with the book he’s promoting. What better for a collection of short stories than a charcuterie plate?

While this could have been very easy for me — gather cheese, salami, veg, and crackers — I wanted to stay faithful to the plate his author wife S. T. Gaffney had assembled. Plus, it gave me an excuse to make crackers, something I rarely do!

First, though, you’ll want to grab a copy of the book collection this husband and wife team have written, That Has Such Creatures¹ (conveniently in Kindle Unlimited) and then, assemble your ingredients. You’ll have time for reading during prep with this recipe, as it’s a twice-baked cracker! Short stories are perfect for short waits.

One of Frank’s books, and a good cover!

Fig & Olive Crackers

• 8 oz coarsely chopped dried figs

• 1 c whole wheat flour

• 1 c all purpose flour (reserve 4 tbsp)

• 2 tsp baking soda

• 1 tsp salt

• 1/3 c brown sugar

• 1/4 c honey

• 1 c greek yogurt

• 1 c milk

• 1 tbsp fresh, chopped rosemary

• 1/2 c poppy seeds

• 1/4 c chia seeds

• 1/4 c sesame seeds

• 1/4 c hazelnuts (roughly chopped)

• 1 1/4 c kalamata olives (pitted)

Preheat the oven to 350F

Grease small baking tins (soup cans with the end off, washed and labels removed, would also work if you want round crackers), I used small loaf tins.

Sift together the flours, baking soda, and salt. Toss the chopped figs and drained olives in the reserved flour and set aside

Whisk together the yogurt, milk, honey, and sugar.

Mix the seeds, nuts, herbs, and floured fruits with the dry ingredients, then mix in the wet ingredients. This will make a fairly rough batter, don’t worry about mixing out lumps!

Turn evenly into your greased pans.

Bake 20-30 minutes until a tester comes out cleanly.

Cool to room temperature, then freeze for an hour or two until quite firm. Slice very thinly - I’d say an eighth of an inch - and lay flat on pans lined with parchment paper. Bake again at 275F for 30-40 minutes until dry and crisp (note that if you prefer these not be too hard, err on the lesser side of that time).

Slices before second baking. Look at all that texture!

In my pans I wound up with three small loaves, and I made two into crackers, shared some with a friend group dinner, where we had it with a smear of goat’s cheese and a slice of ripe nectarine and they were sublime. The third loaf I will freeze for another time, if I freeze, then vacuum seal the frozen loaf it will keep a good long time in the freezer. When I want it I will pull it out, slice, and enjoy!

This was before second baking, and it was amazing. My new favorite snack. The second baking preserves the bread, turning it into crackers that can be stored dry for potentially months without spoiling.

To assemble your charcuterie for enjoyment on a lazy afternoon with a glass of something light and refreshing, you’ll want something like this:

• Artichoke hearts (sprinkle lightly with Chinese five-spice)

• Halved cherry tomatoes

• A selection of cheeses

• sliced dry salami

• Fig & Olive crackers

Enjoy nibbling and reading That Has Such Creatures!

1. All links will be affiliate links, which help me defray the costs of the blog if you purchase through them. In this case… ingredients! Thanks!