And now, the days will get longer, the dark will draw back from the touch of the light, and my days will feel brighter and easier. The world turns and the sun stares down, and the stars glitter in the cold.
It’s not as bad as it’s been in the past, and frankly, February is always my worst month, even though the days are nominally longer than they were in the early part of December. But by February, I’m so done with winter, and the cold, and I want so badly to be able to spend some time outside in the sunshine. The sun is hiding sulkily behind sullen gray clouds, and all that comes from the sky is snow, and slush, and ice, and I’m cold, so cold.
I don’t like winter much, can you tell? Ironically I used to love snow. Skiing, sledding, snowshoeing, I did them all. I’d probably do them still, except this is Ohio and it is (thank goodness) south of where I used to live. We get snow and ice, it just doesn’t last long enough to need to break out the snowshoes to get stuff done. After a streak of 40 degree days, nigh onto 50 some days, in December, I’m very much appreciating my change in latitude. I still don’t like the dark days of the year. I like being able to get out and walk and take photos of bugs and flowers.
So every year I quietly celebrate the winter solstice as we pass from increasing darkness to the bringing of the light. I need the light, even when I’m being a cave dweller like I am today, sitting in my bed typing on the lap desk, blinds drawn over all the windows so there might as well be no outside. It’s all inside, warm and dry and cozy. But I know the days are getting just a little longer. Maybe soon I won’t be driving to work in the dark, and home in the dark too. Soon. Patience endures.
With the wonders of modern technology, I’m able to walk inside now. We were given a treadmill that we can’t use until we drop in a dedicated circuit breaker for it - it’s a 20A plug. But along with it, the guy insisted we take a stair climber machine. I took it because my dear Junior Mad Scientist, who is a tiny bit agoraphobic and will not, no matter how we nudge her, walk outside, needs the PT and well, sigh. We work with the kids when we can. Maybe we indulge them too much. I know the First Reader thinks they need toughened up! But we have this short inclined treadmill we can use now, as long as we don’t flip the lever that turns it into a stair climbing machine. So I’m working at reducing the amount of me that exists, and the JMS finally has someplace to burn her energy that isn’t pacing in the pantry. Which I will point out was her choice. We have a big backyard. But no, she wants to pace back and forth in the twelve-foot confines of an indoor... sigh. Patience. I am cultivating patience.
I’m also cultivating plants. Not only in the garden, but I’ve acquired a couple of herb plants for T’office, because it dawned on me that while I’ve promised the First Reader I wouldnt’ turn the house into a jungle (I don’t know what he has against green and growing things!) I never said that about the office. So! I shall have a garden inside to help me through the freezing time outside. Now, to come up with more on a budget and maybe flowers, too. I’m going to look at my seeds. Too early still to start stuff indoors, but I should be able to get basil going in a kitchen window pot. Since I didn’t get my plants pulled before frost from the garden.
Light is coming. I’m ready for it. Spring is just around the corner. Every day that passes pulls me toward it.