It has become clear this week that I must explain further, I am not allowed to simply retreat into the shadows without making one thing clear: I am not ashamed of this fight. The opponents who have been doing their best to smear everyone involved with Sad Puppies IV cannot claim a victory here: they have not changed my mind.
I still wholeheartedly support the idea of reclaiming the Hugo Awards for excellence above 'connections' and even more, the idea of making the Hugo Awards back into a 'Best of' rather than a tiny super-minority. I do support the idea of a diverse nomination pool. A really diverse one, where you don't have to be 'approved' by the right people to be included. So it's not that I was shut out.
Rather, due to full-time (plus some) school and family obligations that need my attention, I cannot afford the time to be slandered right now in public, and this is what will happen. Yes, I have to fear that from the people who are running the show right now. Doubt what I say? One of the people in the front lines, a Latina woman, was accused by a milk-white woman, of using an ethnic slur. Which confused the accused woman, since English is not her first language, maybe it meant something she didn't know? No... it's a standard identifier that had been used extensively in the military since the 1950s. The accuser was making up mud to fling and try to make it stick. You can see the inherent hypocrisy, and the reason I have to avoid the poo-flinging monkeys. The Sad Puppy movement supports me, knows what is happening in my life, but the other side? They wouldn't care, and would no doubt use it as a tool to try and destroy me.
Because there is no doubt that they are seeking the destruction of all who have threatened their established power base. The fight is so intense, because the stakes are so small. They compound their lies with more lies, and they scream loudly enough to leave onlookers convinced that if there is smoke, there must be fire. And for me, at this point in time, I don't need to deal with baseless slander and accusations. Innocent people could be hurt.
So I am muzzled for a time. This is a strategic withdrawal, to fight another day when the personal life is secure again.
I will still be writing. One thing about not being part of their establishment, I don't need to fear for my career. My fanbase knows I put out fun, readable stories. That's all they want from me, and I'm delighted to oblige.
I will still be blogging. Weekly on Saturday, at Mad Genius Club on writing and publishing technique, passing on the education my mentors gave me. Paying it forward. Also weekly on Wednesday at The Otherwhere Gazette, a new column Mad Scientist's Apprentice about the perils, pitfalls, and delights of being a non-traditional female STEM student. I just talked to one of my professors about maybe interviewing her for that. Monthly at According to Hoyt as part of the Raiding Party, and the posts there will range over social, psychological, and even anthropological topics as my whimsy takes me.
But I cannot and will not be as active as I would like due to pressing obligations. Because I have others to protect who know nothing about this fight. I grieved that I could not take my place in the front lines, but do not doubt this: you have not won, nor silenced me forever. I still support those who are battling onward.
A housekeeping note before I go: I am not on facebook right now. I may check in on weekends, but I am swamped with school work and, well, life. You can always reach me in the comments on a given day or blog post, but please note that if you comment in the facebook comments section on this blog, I cannot directly respond to it. I can and will reply to wordpress comments. I may respond to a specific facebook comment in the wordpress comments, as well. Also, I am not notified when you leave a facebook comment, so I often miss those unless I come looking for them. Should I turn them off? I know I had some readers who could only comment with that enabled.