My Hands Remembered

What my heart knew

I threw pots for the first time in over twenty years recently. A local potter opened a studio, and in addition to having people come in, glaze molded ceramics, she also had classes, wheels and hand-building spaces. A dear friend strongly encouraged me to go in with her, first we just painted the already-fired ceramics, which was fun. Then I was given a Christmas gift of a class. So of course, I chose to sign up for a wheel-throwing class.

I’d told the lady who runs the place, and teaches the classes, that I had once known how to throw pots. It’s been a long time, I said, but I have dreamed in clay for the years that have passed. What I didn’t tell her was that I’ve badly wanted to see if I could still do this. Clay was my first art medium, and it has been unreachable to me for so long. I’ve had no time, I have no space for my own wheel, or kiln, or studio. I really do not. So perhaps, I thought, I’ll see if I still have it, in someone else’s space so I can remember.

A bluebonnet in glaze

Turns out, I do. I’m not sure if my teacher or I was more surprised when I was able to simply center the first lump of clay and start right into a nice rounded bowl. Funny, that first one where I wasn’t thinking just feeling went the easiest of the pots I threw that day! I wound up with four pots, smashed a fifth (there is something very satisfying about smushing up a soft clay pot on the wheel) when I made it hopelessly thin-walled. It would take time for me to re-learn some of the finer details I used to be able to gauge on the fly while spinning the wheel. One of the four bowls doesn’t meet my standards but my teacher was so pleased with it… she was really tickled at how well it went. Enough so that when I brought my husband in and talked about how he wanted to take a class, she told me just to rent wheel time, and teach him myself!

Glazing them was more of an adventure. I learned on high-fired stoneware, which has different properties than the low-fire earthenware clay body, and very different glaze behaviour. With all the colors available I wanted to try to see if watercolor principles would work in painting scenes and details on the pots, and the answer is yes, to a point. I would have to do a lot more work to really get a feel for the glazing.

I am not going to do that, or at least, not in the way my emotions would like. I immediately fell back in love with clay, but the logical restraints on time, space, and equipment remain. What I shall do is to rent a wheel from time to time, buy a little clay, and throw a pot when I need to have a happy hour or two. I don’t need a lot of pots in the house, I don’t think friends will appreciate random pottery gifts, and while I do have some elaborate ideas in my head involving dragons I really don’t think a rented studio space will be conducive to that level of artwork. Time will tell.

Time tells funny stories. Like how your hands remember better than your mind does. And how healing can feel like wet clay sliding between your fingers.