Pivotal Moments

Life swings slowly, but inevitably

By the end of the day I’ll be wholly self-employed again. It will be a very strange feeling, but not an unknown one. I’ve been self-employed before. It’s a frightening place to be, which is why I have worked very hard to earn a degree and attempt building a career. The last three years I’ve been a W-2 contractor, with the job title of Technical Writer, although the actual work was pharmaceutical Stability Administration-Quality Assurance. With the end of the contract, I am and have been hunting for another job, but the outlook isn’t bright with the current state of affairs. I’ll find a job eventually. I’m also prepared for this, and will be increasing my production of writing, of art, of graphic design. I’m working with Raconteur Press and the income from that is small, but increasing. We will manage, perhaps with less disposable income, but we’re in a good place. The only debt we have is the mortgage, and it’s not a monstrous one (because we anticipated this situation might happen).

My husband is actually hoping I can build the writing income to a level where I don’t have to get another day job. He wanted that for me years ago, when Pixie Noir released and sold far better than I’d ever dreamed possible. At that time, I was faced with dropping out of my college plans, with student loans already looming, so I opted to scale back the writing and dive into the career, which paid off the degree and provided us with the ability to pay for some college for the kids, cash in hand. We’ve done well. Now, however, that door is standing open again after ten years of time passing. I don’t know. He is cheering me on, I’m doubting my ability.

Self-employment is mildly terrifying. It isn’t just the health benefits - I haven’t had those for years. Contractors don’t get the bennies full employees are offered, which is why corporations are using them more and more as time goes on. I haven’t had paid days off, either, which has been wearing. I plan to take a couple of weeks off, now, get my head straight, sleep on it, and see what happens to the writing brain with the pressure relieved of 40 hours of work. On the other hand, I actually enjoy the challenge of a job, and having a boss to give me assignments. Much less responsibility than having to boss myself around!

I don’t know. I’ll continue to hunt for the next job - in fact, I’ll be treating that like a part-time job in an of itself. I need whatever it is to be remote, as my skillset isn’t in demand locally, nor are the wages good locally. Side effect of living somewhere with a low cost of living, but I can’t relocate and don’t want to.

I will be writing more - in fact, I plan to set my hours and treat it like my job. This is likely to be annoying at first, retraining my brain to produce on demand! I have done this before, I can do it again. I’m looking forward to finishing up some big projects that haven’t even been on the back burner - they have been in the deep freeze for years now. My self-imposed plan to publish something, anything, every month this year isn’t going to happen for March. Too much going on. Well. If I do publish something it will be a collection of previously-written short stories. Probably not happening, though.

I will of course be gardening, cooking, making art with my watercolors and inks (and other craft supplies I have stashed over the years!). I have house renovation projects. I could, if there’s interest, start back up with making videos. There are so very many things I could do. The possibilities are endless. I am excited, and terrified, and a bit breathless.

The next step is happening. I don’t know where it will land yet. Life is like this, just when you get comfortable, things change.

Here I go.