July is drawing to a close, and we have passed the halfway mark of 2020. This is going to be a year we all remember in different ways, for different reasons... but we will remember it. Memorable isn't always a kind appellation.
I'm thinking about this as I am relaxed and happy and sleepy with my first cup of coffee in a quiet house. The First Reader and I managed a date night for the first time in months - last one we can remember was actually last year. For us, 2020 started early with family stuff. We've spent long parts of this year in separate states, for reasons not entirely pandemic related. The ability to go sit down in one of our favorite restaurants and have a quiet meal while we chatted with one another was really sweet and cherished. It didn't last long - it was a work night for me, after all - but we have renewed our commitment to 'do it again!' in a month, this time. Not next year.
We humans are endlessly resilient. I have seen it over and over in my life. But even resiliency has it's stress points, and it's fracture lines that give way suddenly when you have bent the metal in one place too many times. Back and forth, back and forth, then... snap! Unlike metal, we're made of softer stuff. Give us some time to rest, to relax a little, to sleep and to laugh a little, and we can heal those stress points. Healing doesn't mean that it goes back to the way it was, exactly. Healing often involves scar tissue, remodeling of bone. The human body will, given the chance, overbuild the wounded place, because it knows that this was a weak point. By golly, it won't be next time!
We are the next generation's 'they survived the Great Depression' family. Not that I'm saying there's going to be another of those. This will be different. But the societal disturbance will leave it's mark. And being human, we will reinforce the points we perceive as 'weak' and overdevelop them in compensation. Some people will cling to masking as a symbol of safety. Others will keep a well-stocked toiletries cabinet, with emphasis on the paper, for the rest of their lives. Others... who knows? There are going to be as many little traumas as there are people, and the stress will come out in different ways. Even if you think you aren't stressed. You'll look back later and say to yourself 'oh...'
Better to be aware of that process, and guide the healing with a logical mind rather than letting the unconscious immune system of the psyche get at it. Find the time to relax. Make plans knowing that they might not happen. Dream of what will come. Not everything will be difficult and ugly. Life is full of beauty and blessings, sometimes you have to look for them. Perhaps that makes them even sweeter when you find them, having journeyed long to where they become clear.
Don't stay alone. Find someone to share the burdens with. If you're struggling, reach out. Friends helping friends is part of the healing process, and it's one that goes both ways.