The Rational, Thinking Woman

Guest post written by Lissa Hailey.

Cedar: Lissa posted this on her facebook timeline and tagged me in it, then graciously allowed me to put it up here on my blog. I think it's an excellent essay on the personal impact of feminism. As most of my readers know, I wasn't raised in mainstream American culture. Lissa was, and from that experience she has gleaned much wisdom.  In a recent Twitter encounter, I was asked to explain my objection to feminism. You can see that discussion here:https://storify.com/lissakay/femsplaining Alrighty then ... since they asked, let me expound. This will be a work in progress for a while. Please feel free to share your thoughts in comments. Note, I have little patience for personal attacks, either towards me or other contributors. Mind your manners, else be subject to my swift and sure ban-hammer! ========== Once upon a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away ... I proclaimed myself to be a liberal feminist. Yes, folks, I am outing myself here - now keep in mind, I was a dumb, idealistic teenager/young adult with little experience in the real world, and that world was far different than the one in which we live now. To me, being liberal meant defying authority, living life to your own groove, sticking it to the man, peace, love, and rock and roll. I was not terribly politically savvy at all. Being a feminist meant not conforming to society's expectations of what a female should act, look and sound like, or to gender stereotypes, and equal rights. It was easy to burn one's bra when one didn't have much of anything to put in it. Growing up, marriage and motherhood smacks one with a big huge reality check, however. Being a mother, especially. The dark side of feminism was visited on me when I was told that I was wasting my life being a mother, that children are a burden, and staying home to be a full time mother was an inferior choice and I should be out building a career in the real world. Husbands are to be regarded as a source of sexual satisfaction, an income source, and an adult with which to converse. Giving him his due respect, or - horrors! - submitting to his headship or leadership is the ultimate degradation of oneself as a woman. That's when feminism lost me. It has done nothing to endear me since then. Liberalism lost me during the Clinton administration, its death knell was in the wake of 9/11. But that's a whole 'nother discussion. Fast forward to today, and the current form of feminism that has been developing over the last several decades or so. One of the biggest problems with feminism I noticed was how men were being degraded, insulted and marginalized at every turn. On TV shows, commercials, and in music and movies, it became very noticeable. Every man, almost without fail, was a bumbling, stumbling idiot, completely emasculated, and at the mercy of his female betters. A rallying cry of feminism has been, "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle!" as they cast "The Patriarchy" as being the evil of all evils and the cause of every ill in the known universe. As for women, feminists derided nearly all feminine traits and exhorted women to abandon them in favor of those considered to be more masculine. Nurturing, empathizing, intuiting, mediating and the like are too submissive and give one over to being dominated by the patriarchy. Be assertive! Be aggressive! Never let them see you sweat, or God forbid, cry. Don't let men condescend to you by opening the door, holding your chair, assisting with your coat, carrying your packages ... you can do that for yourself! When in doubt, repeat the fish and bicycle motto. And children ... dear God, the children. When and if they're allowed to live to be born, children are a burden not to be tolerated. They're dirty, smelly, demanding little imps that suck the life out of a woman. Daycare centers exist so that women can pursue worthy endeavors in the arts, business, sports or other realms. Note that I have not mentioned equality yet, other than in reference to my old mis-perception of feminism. If feminism was ever truly about equal rights, it lost that part of its agenda decades ago, probably shortly after the ERA failed to get ratified. Feminism does not seek to obtain equal legal rights and standing for women, it instead seeks to obliterate the differences between men and women, making us all the same, and somehow that will make us all equal. This is utter nonsense and balderdash. Men and women are different - physically, mentally, emotionally, cognitively, morally and spiritually different. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that at all. Vive La Différence! The hypocrisy of feminism is, in order for women to be equal to men, they would first have to castigate men and everything masculine as the worst evil in the world, and then denigrate all that is feminine as being worthless, demeaning, and objectifying. But then, women must be more like those hated men! A few recent pop culture examples of this are in three movies, Avengers: Age of Ultron, Mad Max: Fury Road, and Jurassic World. In the first, the character of Black Widow has been mostly celebrated by feminists because she kicks butt, is a total bad ass and takes care of herself, never needing rescue from her male compatriots. But in Age of Ultron, the character committed two deadly sins - one, lamenting that she cannot have children, and two, she was rescued by a male character. Oh the horrors! Mind you, the Avengers pretty much rescued each other several times over in the duration of the film. Guys saved guys, girls save guys, but heaven forbid the girl needs to be saved! The film's director, Joss Whedon, an avowed feminist himself, was savaged on Twitter, called every name in the book and even took some death threats. In Mad Max, the female character Furiosa is lauded by feminists as an ideal, and the film itself hailed as a "feminist movie" ... whatever that means. Furiosa is an angry, vicious, bad ass who kicks butt. She is, in the vernacular, a man with tits. There's nothing soft, warm, or gentle about this woman. Absolutely zero femininity. And feminists love it. However, ironically, she does get saved by the guy ... I won't spoil it if you haven't seen it. I guess most feminists missed it though, since there have been no howls of outrage that the dumb little girl gets save by the big strong guy. The latest howls of outrage are over Jurassic World. The female protagonist, Claire, is initially a very brass-tacks, business-like, assertive, dominant woman. Over the course of fighting off dinosaurs, in which she is rightly terrified, does some screaming (and who wouldn't??) and is rescued by the guy a couple of time, it is she who ends up saving the day - a couple times. In the end, we see a transformation into a woman who comes to realize the value of family, love and relationships. Yes, that is what has the feminists screeching - how awful to give up being a hard-nosed business woman and get in touch with your softer, nurturing, family-oriented side. Which brings me to the next point of feminist hypocrisy. While they march around, thumping their chests, pronouncing themselves to be strong and empowered, and having no need for a man to take care of them, yet at the same time, they lobby for the government to take care of them! Free birth control! Because they can't be expected to PAY for it themselves! Unfettered access to abortion! Because when the free birth control fails, they can't be expected to take responsibility for the results of their actions! Equal pay! Because they can't be expected to negotiate salary and benefits themselves! We don't need men, aka the Patriarchy, but we need a Big Daddy Government to take care of us! Remember "Julia" from Obama's 2012 campaign? How can one be all strong and empowered while demanding that the government tend to all needs from cradle to grave? Then there is the recent trend of shouting "Sexism!" at anything and everything, even making stuff up to create the scenario. From statues to shirts, when men smile, when they don't, everyday words and objects, and even our physiology is declared to be sexist because women have to sit to pee and we're saddled with the hassle of monthly hygiene tasks. These supposedly strong and empowered women whine that they need "safe spaces" and "trigger warnings" to protect their delicate psyches from anything that might be frightening or offensive. It's absurd as hell ... and it is also self-defeating. Feminism is steeped in paranoia, victimization, hate, and intolerance. Whinging and whining, complaining, acting the victim, being hateful or vengeful towards men or those women who do not march in lockstep with feminist thought, creating drama or controversy over trivial matters, hate campaigns against perceived "enemies" with the stated intention of destroying them, and basically acting like spoiled brats does nothing but turn people off and away from whatever it is you are advocating. If you're complaining that no one listens to you, perhaps it is because you're whining, playing the victim, or just that what you're saying is dumb. Men are men, women are women and both have unique traits, qualities and even foibles that are part of their gender. Individuals may have traits of the opposite gender - I have several distinctly masculine traits myself. There's nothing wrong with that at all. Men and women are hard wired with certain tendencies, and no amount of bitching about that will change anything. Celebrate who we are and what we bring to the table. God didn't make any mistakes in how He created man and woman, and in how He wants us to behave with each other. It works, especially if He is in charge of the whole deal. Feminism does not, cannot and never will be able to come up with a better model for interaction between the genders. More reading: Cedar Sanderson - https://www.cedarwrites.com/are-women-human/ https://www.facebook.com/lissakay/posts/10153653899432575 https://www.facebook.com/lissakay/posts/10153915391492575 http://freebeacon.com/…/scholar-grievance-feminism-crippli…/ The Factual Feminist - http://www.campusreform.org/?ID=6539&app=cro http://dailycaller.com/…/the-guardian-tackles-the-importan…/ http://www.dailymail.co.uk/…/Why-men-refuse-marry-Women-com… http://www.theblaze.com/…/are-men-who-smile-too-much-at-wo…/ http://www.nytimes.com/…/s…/medicating-womens-feelings.html… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XM-HJT8_esM&feature=youtu.be Chicks On The Right - http://chicksontheright.com/…/29326-liberals-are-calling-ju… Smart Girl Politics - http://www.smartgirlpolitics.com/amanda-marcotte-feminism-…/