Winter Falls Softly

Sitting here watching the snow fall outside, contemplating the upsides of having a day off, and nowhere pressing to go. Sure, we had plans. But if it keeps doing this we're calling them off and staying in with tea and boardgames. And maybe make some cookies. There are recipes calling my name in the pantry.

The last snow we'd had melted, and now we're working on new layers. The winters I remember from childhood gripped the land and only let go reluctantly in March and April. I expect to be photographing flowers in April, perhaps March. I have a series I've been working on as a gift for a former professor: tree flowers. They're early, inconspicuous, and fleeting, but give the bees food to start off the season on a proper footing. For now, all that is cold and hard.

I'll see if I can manage some photos of snowflakes, I've been waiting for enough light. Even though I can use a ringlight with the macro, I prefer natural light when I can get it. And that reminds me of another project...

There's always another project. Actually, there is a whole list of them. We talked about that this weekend. I'm maxed out, and he's worried I'm doing too much. He's always worried I'm doing too much. It's not that I'm not saying no: I am. I'm not taking on new projects, just working old ones. But I'm essentially working three jobs. Two very part time, one full time.

I didn't come here to complain. I'm not, actually. I'm beyond blessed in life right now. Yes, I need to scale back on the workload. I'm working (heh) on that. But I want to be able to buy a house this year, and that means income... better more income than more debt, yes? And no, I'm not going to kill myself to do this. It's just... stability.

In winter we're all hunkered down waiting for it to pass over us. It's cold, and we're warm inside. Going outside, making changes, all that waits until spring. Even if the situation isn't ideal, winter is not a time to turf yourself out of the den and move into a new one. Winter's a soft blanket and getting out of bed in the morning is harder than it is in summer.

Winter's hard for me. I don't like the dark. For a woman who can't take the sun any longer, that may sound strange. When I lived in the North and had the gear, I'd take a walk even when the snow was turning the forest into a shaken snowglobe. I don't have that ability now, and I miss it. I miss the silence of the wild in the snow. The world is hushed and still, and you don't want to make a sound while you're traveling through it. If you've never had that experience, it's worth your time and trouble. Winter may be chilling, but it's also beautiful.

Today's snowflakes aren't the perfect crystals. But they are coming down soft and heavy.